Sunday, March 11, 2012

Grappling with my Dark Side

I realize I've become quite melancholic as I enter the second quarter of my life, and depending on your own current experiences, you may find my ramblings relatable or annoying. Maybe both.

I really am trying to build a life for myself. Those tangibles I mention - my job, family, friends, this blog - I recognize the support and sense of a foundation that they give me. Yet I still feel so, so empty inside. And for the first time in my life I'm questioning whether that void will ever be fulfilled. If I'll ever make it to the other side.

I know that I love to write. I've been thinking about going to graduate school. Maybe even moving across the country. I consider what it would be like to pursue these things. I wonder if I'll ever leave Suburban Connecticut.

More than that, though, at the moment I could use some guidance and affirmation. I know we all have our own bags of issues to deal with, so would it be possible for us to each other out?

I've been listening to this a lot lately:

Are we worth it? I think so...yet sometimes I need to hear it from you.


  1. I have the same thoughts. I think it's called the Quarter Life Crisis, and it's caused by this myth we created for ourselves when we were first beginning young adulthood. We thought we'd have "it figured out" by 25, but the vast majority of us don't, and I think it's a good thing. I think we live to long to have anything set in stone by 25. My 20s are gonna be a time to try new things, uproot myself time and time again, and make lots of mistakes. Possibly my early thirties, too!

    I think the occupation of writing has the latest expiration date of any occupation. The mind of a thinker, life-long writer doesn't go until very late. Don't worry!

    1. Quinn - thanks for you support! I agree.

      I think we're entering the stage of our lives where some of our peers are starting to enter serious relationships and pretty much know what their career paths are from here on in, and some of us are still wandering. Honestly, I'd rather be in the position I am now, though it does come with meltdowns like these every now and then!

      With my writing, I think I was trying too hard for it to mean something, right away. It's hard to stay patient while my voice develops, though!